I Hate Everything About You
by streetlights and music
Summary: He hated Kouji, didn't he? Because Kouji hated him back. Koukuya/Takouji. COMPLETE.
1. Argument

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Digimon Frontier or anything related to Digimon, except this piece of literary work. This is only written for amusement and entertainment purposes only. Please do not sue me for anything. Thank you.

**Dedication**: This is dedicated to my new bed sheet, because I wrote this on the day I replaced my bed sheets after getting coke all over it. Hahaha.

**Zero*Clue: **So… yeah. This is a two-chapter fic retelling about the 'talk' Takuya and Kouji had after losing to Duskmon. Perspectives and points-of-view shifts between Takuya and Kouji, but it's mostly Takuya-centric.

I included the conversation they had had in this fic, simply because I loved that scene (and as a refresher for memory, although you could just watch it on youtube). The conversation doesn't change, but what happens after that does. I watched both the dubbed and subbed version (I forgot who subbed it though), and purposefully mixed the two versions 'cause there are some lines that I like in both, and some that didn't really get to me in both. Although they're kinda the same, more or less. XD

Also, I messed with their ages so that Takuya and Kouji will be 14. Tomoki will be 12, Izumi is 14 as well, and Junpei is 15 (though the last three doesn't matter because they won't play a major role in this fic). I can't allow them to fall for each other at age 11, sorry. Well, 14 is still a bit too young, but I think Kouji's mature enough for both of 'em. XD

Oh yeah, **if you wanna skip the 'talk' they had**, just look for the** [~***~]** sign. The second one, or third, if you counted the one in this sentence.

Anyways, enjoy! And please review as well.

**[~***~]**

"I don't like it." Kouji said, receiving a unanimous 'huh?' from the rest of his companions. He sat alone by the fire; eyes sternly looking at the group huddled on the other side. Takuya just finished explaining his _brilliant_ plan in defeating Duskmon. He glared at Takuya.

Takuya frowned at the statement. "Again? Won't you do anything I say?" he muttered, more to himself than to his bandana-wearing friend.

"Up until now, we haven't faced anyone like Duskmon. We aren't ready to fight." Kouji reasoned. His voice dared Takuya to disagree, which the brunette did, of course. Takuya never backed down from a challenge, especially not one coming from Minamoto Kouji.

"So you say running is a better plan?" Takuya shot back.

"That's right!" Kouji said, his voice rising slightly as he tried to prove his point.

"You're pathetic!" Takuya said. "What makes you think we'd be able to get away even if we wanted to? I told you before, running away won't do anything!" He glared at Kouji. Kouji glared back.

Tomoki didn't like where this was going. "C'mon! Don't fight!" he said. Junpei and Izumi seemed to agree with him, but they remained silent. It wasn't wise to involve oneself in another one of Takuya's arguments with Kouji. Bokomon just watched the scene unfold with Neemon, completely unsurprised at the turn of events. But that didn't mean they liked it either.

Kouji scowled and stood up. He walked up to them, hands in his pockets, and paused just a few steps ahead of Takuya. "I want to talk to you," He said coldly. "Alone."

"Fine by me," Takuya said, irritation plainly heard in his voice. He put his hands in his pockets as well, mimicking the other boy's actions, and followed Kouji to the inside of the abandoned building.

"Guys! Don't do anything stupid!" Izumi called. She didn't want to involve herself, but she didn't want to get things out of hand either. This wasn't the time to fight, especially with Duskmon looking for them out there.

"Don't worry," Kouji replied. "We're just gonna talk."

"I'll talk but I won't let you stop me," Takuya's voice quickly followed. Soon, they disappeared into the abandoned building, leaving Tomoki, Junpei, Bokomon and Neemon staring at the entrance. Izumi sighed, resting her head in her hands. She felt tired all of a sudden.

The inside of the abandoned building was dark and musty. There was dust all over the place, and some debris here and there. There's nothing much to see; nothing really. The stairs led the two boys downstairs in a wide, open area. A basement, perhaps? The place was run down, and nothing but cement, dust and wood littered the room. The room itself was barely held up by a few pillars that were still standing.

Kouji led Takuya to the center of the room. When he stopped walking, Takuya spoke first, "All right, so start talkin'."

Kouji decided to ignore the irritation floating in Takuya's voice. "Why do you think you're here, Takuya?" he said, his back still facing the brunette.

Takuya's eyes widened slightly at the question. Perhaps it was out of surprise or confusion, since he was half expecting Kouji to shout or start a brawl. Kouji's words didn't really register in Takuya's mind until a moment later, so all he could say was an unintelligent, lame 'Huh?' in return.

"Answer me. I wanna know why you're here." Kouji said. He still didn't face him. "Why do you fight?"

"Why do I…?" Takuya's voice trailed off. He looked to his side, contemplating on Kouji's words. "Well, you know. We're here to save the world." He might have said the last part too fast.

"You say that like you don't know what it means – what's at stake. You seem to treat this world like a videogame. If it isn't clear to you, you should stop," Kouji said.

"What are you saying? That's not true!" Takuya's voice was getting louder. "I'm not stupid, you know! I know that!"

"Sometimes, I really don't think you do," Kouji sighed and faced Takuya. Said brunette's eyes were determined, and his face showed his anger towards the other teen. But he was listening, and that was all Kouji wanted. "There's no second chances for us, get it? Don't forget, if you lose, you die!"

"Yeah! I - I know!" Takuya couldn't seem to put his thoughts into words. He looked away, tearing his gaze from the bluenette. His voice seemed unsure as he spoke, "That's not…"

"Then what is?!" Kouji's voice was rising, and Takuya had no response to that. "With such a naïve plan as an example, you honestly don't understand what could happen to your friends!"

Takuya felt offended. "Then running away will make things better?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"Then what _are_ you saying?!"

Kouji's eyes flashed with anger. He roughly grabbed for the collar of Takuya's red over shirt and lifted him up, slamming him to the wall behind them. '_Why won't he understand_?'

Takuya didn't struggle under Kouji's hold, despite the uncomfortable position he was in. His eyes were locked onto Kouji, full attention. He could feel pain searing in his back as he was slammed to the wall, but he ignored it.

"Listen carefully, Takuya." Kouji's voice demanded full attention. "You weren't there when I crossed swords with him, okay? I doubt he was even using half his strength against me! That fight – we were like playthings to him…" he whispered the last part.

Takuya looked away, mulling over Kouji's words. "I know that." He looked at Kouji again, this time with more confidence. "I know he's strong! But we all have obtained two spirits each! Every time we run into someone more powerful than us, we've worked together and everything has turned out fine! I said it before, with everyone's power it will work out somehow!"

"Ah! Takuya, open your eyes!"

"Open your own eyes! We're more powerful than you think!"

"Takuya…" Kouji whispered. But there was still frustration in his voice.

"We've gotten this far together, haven't we?"

Anger flashed through Kouji's eyes for a moment. There was heavy silence between the two of them as they glared at each other, daring the other to look away.

Takuya challenged the other boy with a defiant look. He was nearly as tall as Kouji now, or perhaps taller, in the position he was in. He subconsciously noted that, and would have grinned if it weren't for the tense atmosphere between them.

Kouji was the first one to look away from the glaring contest. He closed his eyes and sighed. '_He just doesn't get it,_' he thought. Slowly, he loosened his grip on Takuya's over shirt, and eventually let the goggle-head go. He turned his back on said brunette. "Make a promise." He said. "It's obvious you don't care about yourself, I know you're not stupid enough to die. But you should take care not to let the others get in trouble. If you can't promise that, then you should go home, now!"

He started to leave, not caring if he left the goggle-head behind, nor did he decide to wait for a reply. Takuya wasn't _that_ stupid not to get the message. He'd make that promise, and he'll fulfill it, even if Kouji didn't hear anything from the brunette. Or at least, that was what Kouji hoped anyway.

He needed to get away from Takuya. He needed to be alone. Unconsciously, he quickened his pacing as he headed for the stairs. Some fresh air will do him good. Yes, that's what he needed right now.

**[~***~]**

Takuya was left alone in the abandoned building, staring at the entrance. His mind was racing as he thought about the conversation they just had. He could hear Kouji's voice echoing in his mind, every action being replayed. He didn't want to think about it; it made his head spin and his heart heavy, and he didn't know why. After all, he always argued with Kouji. It was like a part of their routine; a necessity. Their day wouldn't be complete without one of them snickering at the other's actions.

So what made this any different? What was in their fight that made him want to just run away and forget about everything that happened?

"_If you can't promise that, then you should go home, now!"_

It rang in his head endlessly. Takuya groaned and sat down, curling up into a ball. He hugged himself and buried his head on his knees, having no desire to leave the building yet.

"_You seem to treat this world like a videogame. If it isn't clear to you, you should stop."_

"But it's not like that," Takuya whispered to himself. "It's not like I don't understand the risks."

"_Why do you think you're here, Takuya?"_

Takuya pulled his over shirt closer. It suddenly got cold in the building. He sighed, wanting to get his head clear of Kouji's cold voice. He'd do anything to stop it from ringing in his ears over and over. Oh, he'd _really_ do anything.

"Why can't he just see that we can beat Duskmon if we worked together?" He glared at the entrance, as if expecting Kouji to appear all of a sudden. "It worked before! What made _this_ any different?"

"_That fight – we were like playthings to him…"_

Takuya tried to ignore the rewinding memories. It kept playing over and over in his head, and he was getting sick of it. But it also amazed him how he was able to remember the _exact_ words and movements the bandana-wearing boy said and did. If it was any other person, he might've remembered the meaning behind the words, but not the exact words that were said. If it was any other person, he wouldn't have remembered the smallest details, the slightest actions. If it was any other person…

"_Ah! Takuya, open your eyes!"_

"_But you should take care not to let the others get in trouble."_

He was always the leader, even if it wasn't 'official'. Everyone followed him (most of the time), even Kouji; although Kouji would bicker with Takuya as he followed along with the brunette's plans. _'Why won't Kouji listen now?'_ Takuya thought angrily.

"_You say that like you don't know what it means – what's at stake."_

Takuya didn't understand. Or rather, he didn't _want_ to, and he didn't know why. Perhaps it was because he didn't want to give Kouji the satisfaction that he had been right and the goggle-head was wrong. Not that Kouji would openly gloat about it, but it'd hurt Takuya's pride, nonetheless. They were still rivals – somewhat – and Takuya's competitiveness and stubborn attitude wouldn't let him lose to Kouji, no matter what.

But… he was gambling lives here. Not just his, but Tomoki's, Izumi's, Junpei's, and even Kouji's life. And if it ever came to that – to the point where they were gone completely – it would have been his fault.

He was their leader, after all. He didn't have the power for that, but he was still their leader. Their lives were his responsibility too. They depended on him – trusted him – on that.

"_Make a promise."_

Takuya groaned. He hated it. Kouji was right, and he hated him for it. He still has his pride after all.

He also hated himself for not seeing it. He _should've_ seen it.

His friends' lives were in his hands. Even if it wouldn't be _completely_ his fault if they died – and he really hoped that they wouldn't even come _close_ to that – it would still be his fault. Partly his fault. He didn't like dwelling much in that idea. He didn't want to think of the possibilities (and there were many of them) that could lead them to Death's door. He didn't want the other's to get hurt. And he certainly did not want to partly be the cause of it all.

"What are you talking about, Takuya?" He scolded himself. "You're taking Kouji's words _too_ far."

He wouldn't admit it, but he knew that Kouji was right… at some point. Takuya knew that he himself was right as well – he was just stubborn that way.

He didn't like where this was going, though. His friends wouldn't die. He wouldn't allow it. Kouji wouldn't allow it either, and he was glad that Kouji showed that he cared, even if he said it in an angry, sort-of-accusing way.

It hurt Takuya, though, how Kouji didn't seem to care much about the brunette.

"_It's obvious you don't care about yourself, I know you're not stupid enough to die."_

Sure, Takuya could take care of himself. But it still hurt him how Kouji didn't seem to care about the goggle-head's life as much as he did to the others, considering that Takuya was the closest friend to Kouji amongst the five of them.

Well… maybe Kouji didn't see him as a friend, but there was no denying the fact that Takuya was the closest person to Kouji. Hell, even Takuya thought Kouji was his closest friend in the group. He could relate to him more, unlike when he talked to the other digidestined. Junpei was older than him, and saw Takuya as a friendly competition to Izumi's heart. Not that Takuya liked Izumi that way, but it was somewhat awkward to talk to someone who was jealous of you. Tomoki was younger than him, and Takuya thought of him as more of a little brother than a close friend. Izumi was a girl, and while Takuya didn't have any problem when dealing with girls, there are still some things that Takuya didn't feel comfortable with Izumi.

That left Kouji Minamoto. Sure, he was more of a 'loner' type, and was more difficult to approach to compared to the others, but Takuya felt like the bluenette was the closest friend he had. So… why wasn't Kouji worried about him as much as he did the others? What was he to him?

Kouji could've also said 'you should just go home' to Tomoki, Izumi or Junpei. So… why? Why him? Did he really hate – dislike – Takuya that much?

"Argh!" Takuya yelled, standing up. He hated thinking too much. It made his head hurt.

And right now, he hated Kouji too. Why won't the bandana-freak care about him as well? It hurt Takuya to think about him, and he didn't know why. It infuriated the boy how much Kouji affected him so much. And he _really_ hated himself because he didn't know _why_ he even felt like this.

Sure, Kouji didn't seem to care about him as much. But Takuya couldn't help but take it personally. Hell, the bluenette even told him to just 'go home'. Did he really want Takuya to go away _that_ _bad_? It really hurt him.

Kouji hurt him.

"*** it!" He yelled yet again. "Why am I thinking like this?! Why should I care? Why won't _you_ care?"

He needed some fresh air. Kouji was corrupting his mind; he knew it. Now he couldn't think of anything else but Kouji, Kouji, Kouji.

'_Stupid Kouji!'_ The brunette angrily thought, which was soon followed by a colorful string of curses and inappropriate language directed to a certain freak – I mean boy – named Minamoto Kouji.

"*** it! *** it! *** it!" He yelled again, stomping out of the building. He started building up on his 'why I should hate Kouji' list. "I hate you!"

He left the building after that.

**Zero*Clue:** Whew! I hope I didn't make Takuya too OOC. I want to keep him and Kouji in-character, but since Kouji's words hit Takuya's heart badly, I guess Takuya is allowed to be angsty here. I think. He's still confused about his feelings for Kouji here. Hehehe. Man… I think made them too OOC.

Now click on the "next chapter" button right now! C'mon, since you read it all the way here (I assume), why not continue? It's just one chapter. Just one more chapter, and this'll be done. Pretty short, ne?

Anyways, please review!!! I'd appreciate your feedbacks, positive or not. ^^


	2. Hate You, Love You, Hate You Again

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Digimon Frontier or anything related to Digimon, except this piece of literary work. I do not own the song "(I Hate) Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. I also don't own Three Days Grace. I make no money or profit by publishing this work. This is only written for amusement and entertainment purposes only. Please do not sue me for anything. Thank you.

**Dedication**: This is dedicated to my iPod. I listened to the song in it over and over. Also to Takuya and Kouji! Because this chapter is all about them! Though Tomoki was also here for a short while. Hi Tomoki! (waves)

**Zero*Clue:** I decided to make this chapter a songfic, after seeing countless AMV's (from different animes) that used this song. There are Takouji AMV's with this song too. I guess you could say I was inspired by it? This takes place **after** Kouji and Takuya had their "talk" when they ran from Duskmon. Let's pretend that Duskmon didn't appear after that talk, but maybe a day after that, mmkay?

Actually, this was originally just a songfic, but I decided to add the first chapter for fun. Please review after reading!

Oh yeah, I included the Instrumental Breaks as part of the lyrics. ^^

Lastly, this is my first songfic, so it's kinda long and I'm not sure how songfics are supposed to be, but hey, I'm still new here so please take care of me. The writing isn't that good.

**[~***~]**

Takuya sighed when he returned to the camp site. He had been walking around aimlessly for a while after he left the building, hoping that his mind would _at least_ get him somewhere significant, even if his feet didn't.

He didn't have much luck with that though; and when he returned to the camp site, everyone was already asleep. He couldn't really blame them; Duskmon really took it out of them. Takuya was tired as well, but his mind was still racing. He couldn't sleep.

The fire flickered and licked the air around it hungrily. Someone must still be awake and on the look-out. Takuya looked around. He didn't see anyone else awake, but he knew who was missing from the group.

"Kouji." Takuya whispered. "Of course."

_**(Instrumental)**_

Takuya played with his goggles as he looked for his friend. He knew he should apologize, even if things weren't completely clear for him. But he was beginning to understand, which was a good thing, right?

Kouji didn't really go that far. He was found sitting on the top step of the stairs that led to the basement-like room they were in just a few hours ago.

The brunette nervously sat down beside him. He tightened his grip on the goggles in his hands. He didn't know why he was nervous. Maybe it's because he didn't want to lose their friendship – if you could call it that – over the stupid fight.

"Hey," he called out, but he didn't look at the person he was addressing to.

"Hey yourself," Kouji replied, also not turning to see the brunette.

_**Every time we lie awake**_

"Look, Kouji," Takuya started, trying to find his words. He played around with his goggles. "I–I'm sorry about… what happened earlier. I still don't completely understand it all, but I'm beginning to." Takuya didn't really believe it was _completely_ his fault, but he didn't want Kouji to get mad at him either. He had to swallow his pride this time. He continued, "Maybe we just have different views on how to go about this after encountering Duskmon, but ---"

"Takuya," Kouji whispered, cutting Takuya off in mid-sentence. Takuya was startled, but he stopped to listen. He didn't know what to say to Kouji anyway, so he was glad for the interruption. Glad… and anxious.

"I'm not angry at you. I'm just… frustrated." Kouji said. "I don't want you to endanger everyone's lives."

It was one of those _rare_ moments (emphasis on the 'rare' part) that Kouji showed concern for his companions, even if it was insulting on Takuya's part. Said boy frowned, clearly offended.

"It's not like you seem to care when I endanger _my_ life," Takuya muttered, but caught himself too late before he stopped himself form voicing his thoughts. He silently prayed that Kouji didn't hear.

Kouji looked at him, eyes unreadable. Well, not all prayers are answered. Takuya mentally cursed himself.

"Err… you weren't supposed to hear that," Takuya said lamely. He nervously tried to laugh it off, but Kouji continued to stare at him. Well, it's not like he gave a good excuse anyway. Takuya fell silent and played with his goggles again, eyes focusing on the steps below them.

"Sorry," was all Kouji could say, and it didn't make the brunette feel any better. There was heavy silence after that.

…

…

…

…

…

"Um, how's your back?" It took Takuya a few more seconds to realize that Kouji had spoke. His eyes were lost in the darkness before them.

"What? Oh… uh… it's all right, I guess. I've been through worse things."

"Oh… right. Um, sorry for slamming you into the wall back there."

"It's okay. The pain's gone anyway."

The conversation was so awkward to Takuya, but he supposed it was the best apology Kouji could give at this moment. Soon, there was silence again. Neither of the two had anything to say to the other. But they wished they did. The silence was deafening.

_**After every hit we take**_

Kouji was never a man (boy?) of many words. To him, actions spoke louder than words. He sighed heavily and pulled Takuya closer to him just for the sake of doing something, if not because a small voice inside him told him to. He didn't know what else to say… or do.

Takuya oddly felt warm in their position. He felt protected with Kouji's arm draped over him. Not that he'll ever admit it.

"I guess this is as good a time as any." Kouji whispered. He lifted Takuya's chin with his other hand and forced the brunette to face him. They locked eyes, and Takuya suddenly felt lost in Kouji's.

"Takuya, I want you to go home. I don't want you to put yourself in any more danger. Are you listening, Takuya?"

Takuya nodded silently as his mind tried to process everything Kouji said. Key word would be '_tried_'. His eyes were still locked on to Kouji, and it made him feel hypnotized. He felt two, firm hands on his shoulders.

"Listen to me Takuya," Kouji said, holding the brunette tightly. "I don't want you to die, okay? I don't want to lose you, that's why I'm asking you to go home. I…" he paused, unsure of what to say.

"Kouji?" Takuya asked. He still didn't understand half of what the other teen was trying to say. "You… what?"

Kouji exhaled heavily. It's now or never.

"I love you Takuya Kanbara." A quiet whisper. Then Takuya felt soft lips brush against his own. A bittersweet sensation, it reminded him of dark chocolate. It was quick and chaste, that Takuya wasn't able to react fast enough.

Kouji immediately let go of the other boy.

_**Every feeling that I get**_

Takuya's eyes widened. He didn't know how to react. His mind was still processing all of Kouji's actions; all of Kouji's words.

Kouji wasn't supposed to love him. It was all a cruel joke, right?

"Stop it." Takuya said, looking away. He fumbled his hands around for his goggles, which were now lost. Perhaps it fell down the stairs? "This isn't funny."

"I'm not joking, Takuya." Oh, he was _dead _serious. "I really love you."

"Hahaha! Really, you have such a weird sense of humor." Takuya abruptly stood up. What was Kouji playing at? He didn't love the brunette. He didn't like him that way… did he?

No… he didn't. It was all a joke. Kouji was just playing with him. Why would Takuya even _think_ that Kouji was serious?

"I'm serious." Said Kouji in a stern voice. He dared to look at Takuya again, and when he met those chocolate orbs, he held his gaze.

Takuya tried to glare at the other boy, or laugh at him, or turn away, anything, but found that he couldn't. He looked at Kouji's face for any hint of amusement or mockery. But he didn't find anything like that. Kouji was dead serious.

Takuya finally turned away, his back facing the bluenette.

_**But I haven't missed you yet**_

"Please listen to me, Takuya," whispered Kouji. "I don't want you to endanger yourself. I – I'm sorry I kissed you like that, but I really like you, Takuya. I thought… I thought you felt the same way." The last part was almost inaudible; Takuya had to strain his ears to listen.

"We can't be together, Kouji." Whispered Takuya. "It's just… wrong."

"Takky," Takuya was startled with the use of his nickname. Kouji didn't use it on him often. "Please…"

"I – It won't work out. I mean, we're both boys!" Since when did the conversation turn to _this_? Takuya just wanted to apologize and get things clear before Duskmon finds them. He didn't need more problems.

"Does it matter?"

"O-of course it does!" It does, right?

"… Takuya, I really like you."

"Just… Shut up! STOP IT!" yelled the brunette. A few seconds later, they heard a soft shuffling of footsteps. Someone was approaching them.

Tomoki came out from behind them, rubbing his eyes as he approached the two boys. "What's going on?" he asked sleepily, still unaware of the tense atmosphere amongst them.

_**Every roommate kept awake**_

"Nothing Tomoki," Kouji muttered. "We'll try not to wake you up again, right Takuya?"

"Ah… yeah. Sorry Tomoki," said Takuya. He looked down as if he suddenly saw something interesting on the ground below them. "We'll try to keep quiet."

Tomoki stared at the brunette, sensing something wrong with his big brother. Well, 'adopted' big brother, since they weren't related by blood. He turned his questioning gaze at Kouji, who was also starting to look like a brotherly figure to the young digidestined. The two boys shifted under Tomoki's gaze.

"Okay," he finally said. "You should rest too, nii-san. Izumi will take over after Kouji-niisan."

"C'mon Tomoki, I'll take you back." Tomoki nodded sleepily, and let himself be led by Kouji to the camp site, leaving Takuya alone. Said boy sighed heavily.

_**By every sigh and scream we make**_

It was getting cold again. Takuya hugged his red over shirt to himself, just as he did when Kouji left him in the building.

He didn't like Kouji that way, right? It was just wrong! No… he didn't love the other boy. He was his friend, perhaps even going so far as to call him his 'best friend'. It would've been awkward like that.

Besides, he was straight. Takuya didn't have any interest or attraction in any boy his age. Certainly not on Minamoto Kouji.

But that kiss…

Takuya shook his head violently. No, he did _not_ like that kiss. No matter how good Kouji kissed him (and he was really good, not that Takuya will ever admit it), it didn't mean that he liked it… right?

"Argh! What am I thinking?" Takuya mumbled to himself. "I did _not_ like that kiss!"

"The blush says otherwise." Came an amused voice from behind him. He didn't have to guess who spoke. It was obviously Kouji, and he's probably smirking too.

He turned around. Damn it, he was right.

_**All the feelings that I get**_

"Why don't you just admit it?" Kouji asked, his smirk still planted firmly in his fucking pretty-boy face. If Takuya had looked closely enough, he would've seen fear in his eyes; and if he had listened better, he would have heard it in Kouji's voice too. But Takuya didn't. He was too busy hating Kouji. Or trying to make himself hate him anyway.

Takuya put his hands in his pockets and glared at Kouji. "'Cause I didn't like that damn kiss! A-and I'm not blushing either!"

His cheeks reddened even more.

"Sure you're not." Sarcasm dripped heavily in the brunette's voice "You're---"

"Don't say it!" Takuya screamed. His voice was so loud, but he didn't care anymore. If Tomoki never forgave him for waking him up again (though he knew he was exaggerating this thought a bit), he didn't care.

Kouji reached out to touch Takuya's hand. "Takuya…" The smirk had disappeared. He didn't know what to say to the brunette… after all, Kouji wasn't exactly a 'people person'. His face was suddenly expressionless, and it disturbed Takuya a little bit.

Takuya violently yanked his hand free, glaring at Kouji's hand as if it was the vilest thing on the planet. Unworthy to touch the fire child. Kouji felt downcast.

"It's all right. If you feel differently, it's all right. I… I understand." He whispered. He hung his head low, his eyes no longer visible to Takuya. Quieter still, he whispered, "It's alright. It's alright. It's alright…"

It was like a mantra to Kouji. He kept repeating the phrase over and over to himself, no longer caring to see if Takuya listened or not. It was like he was convincing himself the unbelievable. Telling himself that everything was fine. That everything _was_ alright…

"…" There was heavy silence again. And it dragged on for who knows how long. In reality, it was probably only three minutes. But it was the longest three minutes of Kouji's life.

"… Please say something." Kouji reached out for the brunette's shoulder this time.

Takuya flinched on contact. He raised his fist.

_**But I still don't miss you yet**_

Kouji stumbled back. But was able to regain his balance. He wasn't really surprised at what happened. Perhaps he might have even expected it. Gently, he touched his right cheek, running his hand across it. It hurts. The pain stung his pale skin as it collided with Takuya's fist. He could taste warm liquid in his mouth. Metallic, warm liquid.

Blood.

"J-just Just leave me alone!" Takuya yelled before breaking to a run, leaving a stunned Kouji. He made no move to go after the other teen.

_**Only when I stop to think about it**_

**[~***~]**

'_Stupid Kouji._' Takuya thought as he ran endlessly through the dark woods. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get away from the bandana-freak. Anywhere would have been better than being near _him_.

Eventually, Takuya had to stop running. His legs were burning, and they felt like rubber. He couldn't feel them anymore, and he couldn't take another step. He leaned against the nearest tree, trying to doze off, but his mind was too preoccupied to succumb to slumber.

He was so cruel to Takuya. '_Just because I'm not a good leader doesn't mean he has to rub it in my face. He didn't have to mock me._' Thought the brunette. He was trying to find reasons for Kouji's unusual and offending actions. Excuses. It was pathetic, really…

Angrily, he clenched his fists. Tears started to brim his eyes. Why did Kouji have to mess everything up? Everything was going fine, then the bluenette _had_ to disagree with his plans.

Sure, he had a point. But Takuya was right as well… wasn't he? He may not be perfect, but Kouji didn't have to mock him with his 'I love you' junk. Takuya already got the message (somewhat) when they talked in the abandoned building. What was Kouji joking around for? He was so cruel.

'_Stupid, stupid Kouji!_' Takuya thought again, curling up into a ball.

_**I**_

_**Hate**_

_**Everything about you**_

But what if Kouji _wasn't_ lying?

No… that's impossible. He wasn't really serious, was he?

"_I love you Takuya Kanbara."_

Takuya shook his head. There it was again. Kouji's damn voice playing around in his head over and over and over. Replaying the same actions, repeating the same words. Takuya hated it. How Kouji could affect him so much even when he was no where _near_ the boy.

"_I thought… I thought you felt the same way."_

'_Yeah right,_' thought Takuya sarcastically. '_As if __**that**__ will happen._' It wouldn't happen. After all, he didn't (and will never) like Kouji that way. He wasn't gay… and the mere thought of being attracted to Minamoto was just _wrong_.

But again… the kiss…

Takuya shook his head. No, he did _not_ like that kiss. Even if Kouji's lips tasted surprisingly sweet. Even if he didn't pull away initially when he felt soft lips against his (and he blamed it on the fact that Kouji took him by surprise). Even if Kouji was _really_ good. Even if Kouji was his first. Even if… even if…

Faintly, Takuya realized that he just admitted it to himself that he thought Kouji tasted good. At some point, he had admitted to himself that he liked the kiss, even by just a fraction.

_**Why**_

_**Do I**_

_**Love you?**_

"Wait… what am I thinking?" It wasn't possible. Takuya Kanbara, falling for Kouji Minamoto's kiss? As if. Maybe when pigs fly.

Besides, he hated Kouji, remember?

"_The blush says otherwise."_

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" yelled the brunette. "Stop invading my thoughts, damn it! Fuck off!"

"_It's alright. It's alright. It's alright."_

Takuya screamed. Now, only one phrase repeated itself over and over in his phase. Just one phrase.

"_It's alright. It's alright. It's alright."_

No, it definitely _wasn't_ alright. Kouji was carefully making Takuya insane. The kiss, the words, the (semi-)hug… Everything! It didn't really add up. Kouji was a guy, and so was Takuya. They can't fall in love. It's against the rules…

_**I**_

_**Hate**_

_**Everything about you**_

_What rules?_

Takuya didn't even bother with this new voice playing in his head. Or at least, he tried to. Kouji's voice was more than enough; he didn't need his ego… or conscience… or id… or whatever you call it… to disturb him further.

_There are no rules… are there?_

"It's forbidden." Takuya whispered to himself. This new voice had more volume as it spoke in his head; Kouji's voice was merely but an echo now. But Takuya can still hear it. And maybe if he let this go on for a while, he might really go insane.

… _Is it?_

_He said he loved you. What's stopping you from liking him back? Rules? How ridiculous._

Tears. They started falling down his cheeks, and Takuya felt stupid for it. He always bickered with Kouji. Why would he cry _now_, of all times? He shouldn't be affected by Kouji.

"It was a lie." Takuya told himself. "He doesn't – will never - like me that way. He was just playing with me."

"_I thought… I thought you felt the same way."_

"_I'm not joking, Takuya." _

"_I'm serious."_

"_I really love you."_

Did he really? Because if he did, then what was stopping Takuya from reciprocating the same emotions thrust upon him by his rival and (dare he say it) bestfriend?

"Takuya, you're so stupid sometimes." He told himself. He looked up at the stars, lost in thought. His eyes were distant; looking, though not really seeing, the darkness that enveloped this world.

"I hate you, Kouji Minamoto."

He felt something wet fall on his face.

_**Why do I love you?**_

**[~***~]**

"It's raining down hard." Izumi commented from inside the abandoned building. Everyone, minus Takuya of course, was inside the building the moment raindrops started pouring down on them. It in a few minutes, those raindrops suddenly multiplied and evolved into bigger versions of themselves. Izumi sighed heavily.

'_At least Duskmon won't be able to find us for a while in this weather._' She thought. Looking back at the other digidestined, she let herself a small frown. She was the look-out this time, or supposed to be. Kouji was still awake.

_**Every time we lie awake**_

_**After every hit we take**_

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Kouji looked at the blonde with a listless expression. He said nothing.

"Takuya must still be out there." Izumi said, looking out the door. She sat beside Kouji at the steps leading to the basement. "I hope he's alright."

Nobody else but the two of them knew Takuya was missing. Everyone else was too tired and sleepy to be aware of their friend's… disappearance.

"You have to look for him, you know." Izumi said.

"We can't. The rain is coming on hard." Kouji said a bit harshly. "And I don't think we can risk getting ourselves hurt out there. We're all too tired. I'm sure Takuya will come back when his head's clear."

"I didn't said 'we'. I meant _you_."

"… Did you… you saw what happened earlier, didn't you?"

"I'm surprised I was the only one who woke up after Tomoki."

"… Sorry to disturb your sleep."

There was silence after that.

"Look Kouji," Izumi said, placing her hands on the boy's shoulder. Kouji looked up, slightly startled at the gesture. "I didn't see everything that happened, but I don't really care at this point. But the thing is, Takuya's one of my closest friend… and I think I know what's going on in his head right now."

"Look, I don't need a lecture." Kouji glared. "Takuya may very well like you more than he could ever like me, and I know I did something wrong but---"

"Takuya never liked me."

"…?!"

"He… He always looks at you with admiration. He always tries to best you at… well, everything. He sees you as a brother, a friend. Maybe more than that. And what you did, Kouji Minamoto, was so stupid that it might just wake him up."

"What are you---?"

Izumi rolled her eyes. How dense can these two boys be? "Kouji, you cannot be _this_ slow. I thought you thought he liked you too. Damn it, Kouji! He's in love with you!"

Kouji shifted his gaze to his side, anywhere but Izumi's eyes. "He doesn't. I thought he did, but he… He hates me, Izumi."

"That's because you're an idiot." Izumi sighed. Somehow, this whole day had been so tiring for her. "Takuya is not someone who would wear his emotions on his sleeves. He looks like it, but it's all an act. He hides his emotions – his problems – from everyone. Including himself. That's why he never understands what he truly feels about you."

"… How do you know all this?"

"Kouji, I'm a girl. What do you expect?" Izumi grinned. "But after what you did, he's gonna hate you for real if you don't do something about it."

"I already apologized, Izumi. What else do you want me to do?"

"…You like him, don't you?"

Kouji smirked and nodded. Of course he did.

_**Every feeling that I get**_

Izumi's hand lightly whacked his head. Well, lightly in Izumi's perspective.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

Izumi smiled. "Go after him and make things right. He'll understand."

Kouji didn't understand what was going on. Is this really Izumi? It didn't seem like it. This Izumi seemed more… mature. And understanding. And for some reason, Kouji didn't argue with the girl anymore. When he looked at her eyes, he could see it. Izumi understood him.

And she's rootin' for him.

He never expected this to happen. He thought that Izumi would scream at him, fight for Takuya (for he was under the impression that the girl was infatuated with the object of his affections). But no, she did none of those.

Perhaps that girl wasn't as bad as Kouji thought. She was a real friend.

"Thanks, Izumi." Kouji said. He smiled, something he rarely does around them. Izumi was startled at that action. Even more so when Kouji pulled her in a hug.

"K-Kouji…?"

"Don't start getting any ideas." Kouji said after he immediately let go. "And don't tell anyone about this either. I'm just… uh… glad for what you said so far."

Even heroes, no matter how anti-social they are, needed a hug sometimes.

Izumi smiled. "I guess that's one way of thanking someone. Your welcome."

The rain poured on harder. Outside, they heard a soft cry. And suddenly, a shuffle of footsteps, running faster and farther away. A blur or red zooming its way out.

"Takuya…?"

_**But I haven't missed you yet**_

**[~***~]**

He should've known. He should've known.

He shouldn't have trusted Kouji. Shouldn't have listened to the irritating voice floating in his head.

He shouldn't have believed what Kouji said, what Kouji did, just for the sake of his own heart.

_**Only when I stop to think about it**_

Takuya ran again. He was tired. He was hungry. And hell, he was soaking wet in the rain! His eyes were heavy with sleep; tired from all the tears falling down his face. He wouldn't be surprised if he was sick too.

"I knew it. I knew it. It was all a lie!"

He fell down, tripped on some root of a huge tree, or perhaps a rock on the road. Or maybe he was just too tired. He didn't bother to get up anymore. Too exhausted to think, too exhausted to speak. If Duskmon found him here and killed him, he wouldn't have cared anymore.

Too tired to care.

_**I**_

_**Hate**_

_**Everything about you**_

_**Why do I love you?**_

Kouji hugged Izumi. _Hugged_ her. He never did anything so intimate with anyone else in the group. He rarely smiled, or even waved. But he saw it. Takuya saw Kouji _hug_ her.

He had half a mind to kill Kouji right on the spot for playing with him. Because after much deliberation, after debating so much time with the two voices inside his head… He actually thought Kouji was sincere.

He actually had the nerve to believe in him. Just because he thought he might have fallen for the bandana-wearing freak.

In reality, he did. Perhaps he already fell for Minamoto Kouji a long time ago. He just…hadn't admitted it to himself until recently.

And the hope that Kouji reciprocated the same feelings awoke Takuya into that little revelation.

Only to find that it was all a joke. Nothing more.

After all, what did Kouji ever do to Takuya? He rarely smiled, he rarely laughed. Didn't hug him or pat him on the back. He saved him a few times, but perhaps it was just to escape the guilt that would have come if he didn't.

Takuya was fine with that, if Kouji didn't do anything special to everyone else. But now…

Takuya couldn't believe he was just fooled around. That kiss probably meant nothing.

Kouji must've kissed a lot of girls before they came to the digiworld. What made this any special to him?

_**I**_

_**Hate**_

_**Everything about you**_

_**Why do I love you?**_

And yet, Takuya couldn't help it. He still liked the boy. He had a charismatic charm, a dangerous aura… something exciting and attractive. Something that might've pushed you away, but still keep coming for.

He liked Kouji.

He _loved_ Kouji.

And Takuya dearly wished he hadn't realized this now. He wished he would've never realized this, or that this feeling never even existed.

He wished he hadn't even met Kouji.

He got up quietly, and walked. The rain was still pouring down on him harder than ever, it was difficult to even walk around in this weather. He could barely see anything in front of him through all the rain and mist and fog and whatever else was in front of him.

But after just a few steps, he stopped. Why was he running?

_**Only when I stop to think about you**_

_**I know**_

Why was he walking away?

Why did he like Kouji, of all people?

Why did Kouji kiss him? Play with him?

Was he really playing with him?

Or perhaps, Takuya's mind was playing tricks on him.

Was reading the situation too much?

Was Kouji sincere?

Was _he_ sincere?

Were they really… in love?

_What are you running away from?_

The hurt?

The very person that made you ecstatic and angry, furious with rage?

The only person that can affect you this much?

Why?

Footsteps… Takuya heard them behind him. But he didn't turn around to look. He already knew.

_**Only when you stop to think about me**_

_**Do you know…**_

"Kouji." Takuya whispered, questions still running in circles around his head. "I hate you."

He heard Kouji take a step forward. "I know."

"…"

"I'm sorry, Takuya."

_**I hate everything about you**_

_**Why do I love you?**_

Takuya turned around to face Kouji. "Do you hate me so much that you had to play with me?"

"Takuya, what are you talking about? I was serious. Was it that hug? That was nothing."

Kouji's words fell on deaf ears.

"I didn't believe you at first. I didn't want to." Tears started brimming out of his eyes again, and Takuya hoped it would be camouflaged by the rain. Of course, it didn't. "But eventually, I did. Just because I realized that I was stupid enough to fall for you."

Kouji was startled. What Izumi said was true…

"Do you hate me so much that you'd toy around with me? I wish I never even realized I liked you. Do you hate that much?"

_Do you hate me?_

_**You hate everything about me**_

_**Why do you love me?**_

Kouji sighed. "No, I don't Takuya."

Takuya glared at his rival. "Prove it."

_**I hate**_

Kouji smiled a little, though it was too small to be noticed by the brunette. He walked closer to Takuya.

The rain continued to pour down.

Slowly, he approached the boy, who didn't even flinch or move. Takuya's eyes were sternly fixed on Kouji, eyes filled with hurt, anger, loneliness…

Betrayal.

_**You hate**_

Kouji stood in front of Takuya, his face only inches away from Takuya's own. He was hesitant, afraid, but still determined. To prove to Takuya he didn't hate him. To prove to Takuya that he loved him.

He could feel Takuya's breath mingling with his own. And now that he was close, he noticed for the first time, how pale Takuya was.

And frail. And tired. And how his body was exhausted, ready to fall at anytime.

And how his eyes were weary with sleep and tears.

Those eyes that displayed rage and anger.

Those eyes filled with hurt and confusion.

Those eyes that, despite all that's been said and done, did not show any hate.

There was no hate.

He didn't hate him.

_**I hate**_

Takuya didn't know what happened. He was in Kouji's arms. Kouji's protective arms.

Kouji was hugging him.

Embracing him.

In the rain.

Needless to say, Takuya was mildly startled. His eyes widened as Kouji encircled his arms around Takuya, pulling him into his brace.

Takuya didn't know what to say, what to do.

"I love you, Takuya."

_**You love me**_

And this time, Takuya felt like the rain washed all of his doubts away. He could feel Kouji's sincerity this time. And he didn't bother anymore to argue about this matter.

Kouji loved him.

He was in Kouji's arms.

He was loved.

_**I hate everything about you**_

_**Why do I love you?**_

Takuya needn't think anymore. His eyes slowly closed. He couldn't keep himself awake any longer.

"Sorry Kouji. I don't think I can…"

Kouji looked down on Takuya, eyes filled with worry. His friend was burning up; Takuya's eyes were closing and his breath hitched and staggered.

"Thank you, Kouji. And… I'm sorry."

"Don't talk. You're sick." Kouji said, carrying Takuya bridal style. Takuya didn't struggle, he was too tired to do so. But then, would he even struggle in the first place? "I'll carry you back to the others."

And as they made their way home, the rain suddenly weakened to a drizzle. And faintly, Kouji heard Takuya whisper "I love you," until said brunette finally fell unconscious.

"I'll take care of you, don't worry." Kouji let himself a smile.

**THE END**

**Zero*Clue:** Whew! DONE! Finally…

Again, I hope I didn't make everyone too OOC. It was tough. :| I actually wrote the last part (from Izumi's appearance to the last) in a rush, so it was really bad. Sorry it's a long chapter.

Anyway, please review!!! I'd appreciate your feedbacks, positive or not. Thanks, readers, for enduring this literary work. I made it in a rush, so it was really bad. Hopefully, I'd do better next time.


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